Cristiano's Feelings Are Hurt

Wait... I can almost see my reflection in the ball. (Photo: AFP)

The most famous, rich, handsome, greatest football player ever feelings have been recently hurt by every non-Real Madrid fan in the entire world. Cristiano Ronaldo has been constantly booed and has had enough; he finally broke down [in tears]. After standing hours in front of his full-body mirror at home, he has been trying to think of the greatest excuse of why people boo him. "It can't be the way I sometimes act like a baby and throw a tantrum when Iniesta, Xavi and Messi pass in a triangle around me..no...and it can't be that I like to stand on the field with my arms on my hips when I don't get my way..." he takes his shirt off and strokes his abs for some inspiration. "Obviously people are jealous of my rock hard body. Messi is jealous of my abs, Villa is jealous of my hair, Cesc is jealous of my earnings and Di Maria is jealous of my famous-ness." Ronaldo went to bed last night in his Barcelona shirt (which he secretly owns, #1, says Victor V on the back), which he thinks makes him a better player while he sleeps. Cristiano, I think people booing you is normal. People boo you because they don't like Real Madrid. And you are their best player so you are the one primarily targeted to boo; pretty common sense...Anyway Cristiano, I don't see Messi saying things like this, even when he is booed for winning everything in the world.